sprat (

sprat) wrote,
2005-11-04 21:53:00

New DS Story

It's late and it's Friday, so I bet nobody's around to see this. But I'm posting anyway! Because I finished something! Woohoo!

Beta thanks (and by "thanks" I mean the sort of gratitude felt by biblical characters getting rescued from lion's dens or whale-bellies) go out to

china_shop, as well as

gurrier and

pearl_o. This was a story of multiple drafts and much flailing (on my part), and it would still be sitting in my WIP folder were it not for these people and their kind assistance.

F/K
6200 words (or so)
Explicit

Ray Is Not Actually Graphing The History Of His Relationship With Fraser--That Would Be Pathetic, And Ray Is Not Pathetic--But If He Was Graphing It, Even Just In His Own Stressed-Out, Messed-Up Brain, It Might Look Something Like This

Tags: ds fic

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150 comments

November 5 2005, 05:20:42 UTC 6 years ago

Huzzah!

November 9 2005, 17:25:05 UTC 6 years ago

Woohoo! :)

November 5 2005, 05:34:25 UTC 6 years ago

*loves madly*

This is just wonderful. I love the mapped trajectory of their relationship and poor, confused Ray.

The graphs and corresponding descriptions had me laughing so hard my roommate yelled in from the other room reminding me to breath.

And was that a hint of Frannie/Elaine?? *is ded of love*

November 9 2005, 17:25:59 UTC 6 years ago

Thank you! So glad you liked. :)

(And yes! Frannie/Elaine is my secret OTP. Hee.)

November 5 2005, 05:42:05 UTC 6 years ago

Oh yay, you posted! And I adore the graphs! The Crazy Town one had me squeaking out loud. :-)

November 9 2005, 17:27:33 UTC 6 years ago

Thank you! I tried to make it look like a chicken for ya, but my Paint skills weren't really up to the challenge. *g*)

November 5 2005, 05:48:38 UTC 6 years ago

I loved the whole thing and the graphs! The Graphs!

Ray bared his teeth at the guy. "Hey, fine with me," he said. "I'm just gonna have to sway you myself, then." He cracked his neck, got up on his toes and did a couple of shuffling steps. "You got a preference for jaw or eye?"

Turnbull's throat worked. He took a deep breath. "Jaw, sir, if you please."

I loved this part. Turnbull defending Fraser. So cute.

November 9 2005, 17:28:28 UTC 6 years ago

Hee, thanks! Turnbull can't really help but be cute, I think. :)

bluebrocade

November 5 2005, 05:53:08 UTC 6 years ago

Wow. That was so lovely. The structure of it and VIRCs and the Fraser bizarreness and Turnbull, OMG, so funny.

Ray slammed down the phone. That was not even close to buddies. Turnbull’s a last-resort weapon, not to be deployed except under extreme duress--the kind of thing Ray'd have thought Fraser would only use against an arch-enemy. Or, you know, Frannie.

That's just the funniest thing evah.

"Jaw, sir, if you please."

I can totally see Turnbull saying that all earnest-like.

"What would be the point of communicating about this particular issue? Things are as they are. It was simply a misunderstanding. I apologise if my absence has been an inconvenience, but I'm afraid I'm not willing to humiliate myself more than I already have."

*meep*

Fraser swallows, opens his eyes. "No," he says. "Ray. I'm sorry. I thought." He stops and huffs a weird, unfunny laugh. "I thought I was obvious. I thought you knew."

::melts::

Poor, clueless Ray. I can totally see this happening. Fraser totally would expect Ray to just know how he feels.

November 9 2005, 17:30:21 UTC 6 years ago

Wow, thanks so much! I'm glad you liked this. :)

November 5 2005, 06:10:10 UTC 6 years ago

Yay! Late Friday night after seeing a good movie fic!

I really like the graph idea; N is hilarious and sooo true!

And yet again, Turnbull rocks!

November 9 2005, 17:30:57 UTC 6 years ago

Thank you! :)

November 5 2005, 07:28:55 UTC 6 years ago

So. MUCH. Love.

He kicked one of them in the head with the toe of his boot. Just gently, though.

This might be one of the best Ray lines I've ever read.

I love this entire fic, especially the graphs, especially Fraser's fear of putting himself fully out there, and most especially Ray's slow realization at the end. So wonderful!!

*loves*

November 9 2005, 17:32:44 UTC 6 years ago

Thanks so much! Yay! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

November 5 2005, 07:47:02 UTC 6 years ago

Wow. you totally blew me away! I can't think of anything i love more than Ray's graph. JESUS.

November 9 2005, 17:34:20 UTC 6 years ago

Thank you! And thanks for your rec, too. I'm pleased and flattered that you liked this. :)

6 years ago

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November 5 2005, 08:40:42 UTC 6 years ago

Holy Viggo.

With the hot and the angst and the funny and the Ray voice and the everything!

Nice.

November 9 2005, 17:35:18 UTC 6 years ago

Heee. Thanks so much!

Deleted comment

November 9 2005, 17:37:58 UTC 6 years ago

Wow, thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it, even though it's not your fandom. Yay! :)

November 5 2005, 11:33:35 UTC 6 years ago

Wow, i really enjoyed this - the Ray-voice was great and the graphs were so fun :)

November 9 2005, 17:38:12 UTC 6 years ago

Thank you! :)

November 5 2005, 11:40:12 UTC 6 years ago

I am speechless, so my icon will have to talk for me ;)

November 9 2005, 17:38:53 UTC 6 years ago

Heee. Thanks! Glad you liked. :)

2am_optimism

November 5 2005, 11:56:40 UTC 6 years ago

GUH.

I think you broke me with that.

Just glorious :) I Adore the graphs, and

only the answer wasn’t even math. It was, like, food or something. 5x + πr² = cake

is just inspired.

♥

November 9 2005, 17:43:08 UTC 6 years ago

Thank you! I'm so glad people liked the graphs. My skill with all things visual leaves much to be desired, so I was kind of worried about that part. :)

November 5 2005, 12:00:23 UTC 6 years ago

Utterly brilliant!

November 9 2005, 17:43:22 UTC 6 years ago

:) Thanks!

_inbetween_

November 5 2005, 12:00:52 UTC 6 years ago

Damn. So good. Perfectly captured misunderstanding, covering up strong feelings. Much love. Graphs are so what I'd do, too. Must rec.

November 9 2005, 17:44:39 UTC 6 years ago

Wow, thanks! I'm so glad you liked this. (And hee, I might resort to graphs myself--relationships are confusing! *g*)

_inbetween_

6 years ago

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birdsflying

November 5 2005, 12:05:27 UTC 6 years ago

I just. Hee. Love it so, it certainly made me happy to be awake in in work. Thank you!

November 9 2005, 17:45:31 UTC 6 years ago

Thank you! I'm glad I could help. :)

November 5 2005, 13:34:34 UTC 6 years ago

Oh man, utterly superb. You have a great, wonderful, dS way with words that I enjoyed immensely. Thank you!

November 9 2005, 17:47:30 UTC 6 years ago

Thanks so much! :)

kara_livingston

November 5 2005, 14:03:34 UTC 6 years ago

I love this story with a deep and abiding passion. Thank you for writing it and making me happy.

November 9 2005, 17:47:55 UTC 6 years ago

Thank *you*! I'm so glad you liked this. :)

brooklinegirl

November 5 2005, 14:25:48 UTC 6 years ago

*flails*

*a lot*

but LOOK, I took NOTES, so I can be more coherent than that!

But when you were Fraser's partner? Nah. Then it was just "well, did the car hit you hard, Ray? Are you actually injured?"

Dude, I'm cracking the fuck up and just nodding like crazy, because it's TRUE. LOOK at what Ray goes through in a day in CANON, let alone what we put him through in our fic.

Ray did not even catch the trigger word in the sentence (that'd be "relationship" in case there's somebody in the audience who isn't paying attention), which meant that he answered like Fraser's friend instead of like Fraser's boyfriend.

Cracking. Up. Because hello, that is ONE FINE LINE THERE, and even in the very best of best-friend relationships, say hello to the stumbling point. Awesome.

And okay, so thinking first has never been Ray's particular skill. "Yeah, sure," is what he said.

Laughing my ASS off. Oh, Ray. You putz.

And that was it. That was the whole thing. How is any normal human being supposed to get that basically, he and his partner just broke up?

o.O Seriously? I would fucking THROTTLE FRASER IN HIS SLEEP. I love him. I think he's smart and funny and dorky and fucking hot, but I would never in a million years EVER EVER want to be in a relationship with him. You nailed it all, right here in this fic: Warning: Dating Fraser Is a Hazard to Your (Physical and Emotional) Health.

and, once, personally hyponotise a bear (don't ask).

You had all of these tiny moments throughout the fic that made me just FLAIL with sheer glee. I fucking LOVE that. It's the inherent wackiness of the series just PERFECTLY proportioned throughout the fic.

Perhaps it would be helpful if you were to try to think of the Constable as existing in a state of quantum uncertainty, rather like Mr. Schrödinger's cat.

I love you. I want to PROPOSE to you.

Turnbull's throat worked. He took a deep breath. "Jaw, sir, if you please."

So Ray got his fist cocked and ready, but then of course Fraser had to come out of his office and ruin all the fun. "Oh, for Heaven's sake," Fraser said. "Ray."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I just, just, JUST love this entire thing. I can SEE this whole thing in my head, and really, my heart is beating fast, because dude, right there, in those few lines, you just, like, utterly NAILED the heart of the THREE of them. It's just - it's perfection, is what it is: Turnbull is silly, and noble, and determined. Ray is violent and emotional. Fraser is exasperated. Just - just - *HEART*

There were designs down there, woven right in: some kind of antelopes or something all lined up around the border. He kicked one of them in the head with the toe of his boot. Just gently, though.

I love that beyond my ability to describe. I love that SO MUCH. It's the "just gently, though" that makes me want to give him SUCH A HUG.

Like Ray had been trying to solve an equation for the past four months, and all of a sudden he had an answer, only the answer wasn’t even math. It was, like, food or something. 5x + πr² = cake.

*giggling like crazy*

Frannie had brought Elaine along, and they were leaning in the corner of the booth, laughing over something with their heads together and their girly drinks in their hands, and if Ray wasn't totally messed up over sex already, he'd be speculating a lot of happy dirty thoughts about what the two of them might get up to in the cab on their way home.

HEE! Okay, dude, again with the perfect moments throughout the fic: this, with Frannie and Elaine and what might or might not be happening: YAY POSSIBLE GIRLSEX. And:

Instead, him and Welsh got their elbows on the table and some serious liquor between them, and they talked shop and got drunk, because Welsh is a man after Ray's own heart.

*heart* Ray and Welsh, I have always, always thought, have this sort of serious GUY relationship, and I ADORE it.

brooklinegirl

November 5 2005, 14:26:10 UTC 6 years ago

comment part two

"Ah. Well. Chickens are inherently disturbing, aren't they? I can see why you might waken."

*weeping* Chickens ARE disturbing! I love you!

Dude, all of it. The hot sex. The GRAPHS OMG THE GRAPHS. Ray's utter confusion. Fraser's stony defensiveness. Fraser avoiding Ray! Climbing trees! The sex! The SEX. OH, the sex. Wonderful, wonderful, darling! <3 <3 <3

6 years ago

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crysothemis

November 5 2005, 14:35:25 UTC 6 years ago

Gorgeous! I adore the graph, and the not-math, and Point N. Misunderstanding fic is so hard to write, but you've done it perfectly. Yay!

Here via rec by

November 9 2005, 18:10:04 UTC 6 years ago

Yay! Thank you! I'm so glad you thought so. :)

November 5 2005, 15:48:50 UTC 6 years ago

Oh, wow--this is seriously delightful and brilliant and perfect! My personal favorite? Everything goes to Crazy Town. Because, wow, Fraser-Ray relationship summary in a nutshell thing.

November 10 2005, 18:53:06 UTC 6 years ago

Thanks so much! I'm so glad you liked this. (And eee, thanks for the rec, too! *g*)

serialkarma

November 5 2005, 15:49:48 UTC 6 years ago

Oh. LOVELY. Just, really really lovely. (And funny! With the graphs! So perfect! Particularly point N. *loves*)

November 10 2005, 18:53:28 UTC 6 years ago

:) Thank you! So glad you liked.

November 5 2005, 15:59:19 UTC 6 years ago

I clicked on the link, but it goes to a page saying that your Data transfer allotment has been exceeded.

November 5 2005, 16:06:40 UTC 6 years ago

Hey, thanks for the heads-up! Weirdly, I was just in the process of putting up a mirror link. *g* It's posted now, if you want to check it out.

November 5 2005, 16:26:41 UTC 6 years ago

This is my new favourite thing ever. Graphs! and misunderstanding! and the really hot sex! and also Turnbull being surreal and hilarious. This just hits all my fic kinks. So good. So very, very good. Thank you for writing it!

November 10 2005, 18:55:22 UTC 6 years ago

Thank you for reading it! And letting me know what you liked about it. :)

November 5 2005, 16:36:41 UTC 6 years ago

I wouldn't have thought you could come up with anything I'd like better than your "numbered list" stories, but you top them with a graph story!

So much fun, especially the graph titled "more excellent fucking", Fraser existing in a state of quantum uncertainty, and the cake equation!

I really like the way you think! And I kind of hope you're planning a spreadsheet story or a database story or a flowchart story! :)

November 10 2005, 18:59:06 UTC 6 years ago

Hee! Thanks so much! And thanks for reccing this, too.

*contemplates a Rodney/Radek spreadsheet of love*

:)

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150 comments

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